My dearest firstborn,

Congratulations! You are now promoted to big sister! In a few weeks time, you will no longer be the ‘only one’. Even so you have long prayed to have a sibling and despite our constant talks about the coming baby, nothing will ever prepare you (and us) for the change that’s about to happen.

Mommy is very emotional right now. I’m sorry anak, for losing control and for snapping at you at times you get your tantrums. I’m sorry if mommy is strict and difficult to understand sometimes.

I hope one day you will understand my worries, my fears, my doubts about parenting, about raising the two of you.

I’m sorry if I fail you and disappoint you sometimes (many times). I hope you’ll understand that I’m not a perfect mom and I won’t ever be. Neither I’d be expecting you to be a perfect daughter, to be a perfect big sister. But I promise I will try my very best to be better each day.

Four years ago, I was totally different—my life was totally different.
You have changed me and everything I know about life. Please know that I am and will forever be grateful to have you. You have changed me in so many ways I did not imagine. You have made me a better person. You have taught me to be a mother.

Watching you grow has always amazed me and brought me so much pride and joy. I’m sure, anak, you will always make us proud as you embark on your new role. I know, anak, you will be the best big sister one could ever wish to have.

Upon your sister’s grand entrance into this world, I pray that God will continue to bless you with a loving heart. I pray that you will understand that this time is different and could sometimes be more difficult. You will no longer always have our undivided attention but it doesn’t mean that we love you less. I promise I will always be the mom you have and I will still try to give you the best of me, and get us our alone time together whenever we can.

Our love for you will never ever change.
We may truly struggle to cope with the coming change — but we can do this together as a team.

I am going to miss the times of just us two, going shopping, getting massages, watching movies, going to playdates, doing chores, studying/ reading bedtime stories and many other things that we do together. I know you are going to miss those times too, more than I do. But that’s okay. Soon, there will be three of us doing all those things when dad is away. We will have a new member to share more stories with. You will have someone to play with any time when mommy isn’t able to. You will have new someone to cuddle with as mommy do chores. You will have a new friend to share life experience with as you grow. You will have a new playmate and a shopping buddy — not just your teddies.

These may sound overwhelming to you, to mommy and daddy, but —— I know we can do this together.

I pray that no matter what happens, no matter what’s ahead of us — you will always remember that I loved you first and I will forever love you. You will forever be that sweet firstborn that made me ‘mom’.

I love you. We love you so much and we will always be proud of you. ?

**This was a letter I wrote before my second baby was born. I’m just sharing it here again for some inspiration. 🙂

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