My dearest firstborn,
Congratulations! You are now promoted to big sister! In a few weeks time, you will no longer be the ‘only one’. Even so you have long prayed to have a sibling and despite our constant talks about the coming baby, nothing will ever prepare you (and us) for the change that’s about to happen.
Mommy is very emotional right now. I’m sorry anak, for losing control and for snapping at you at times you get your tantrums. I’m sorry if mommy is strict and difficult to understand sometimes.
I hope one day you will understand my worries, my fears, my doubts about parenting, about raising the two of you.
I’m sorry if I fail you and disappoint you sometimes (many times). I hope you’ll understand that I’m not a perfect mom and I won’t ever be. Neither I’d be expecting you to be a perfect daughter, to be a perfect big sister. But I promise I will try my very best to be better each day.
Four years ago, I was totally different—my life was totally different.
You have changed me and everything I know about life. Please know that I am and will forever be grateful to have you. You have changed me in so many ways I did not imagine. You have made me a better person. You have taught me to be a mother.
Watching you grow has always amazed me and brought me so much pride and joy. I’m sure, anak, you will always make us proud as you embark on your new role. I know, anak, you will be the best big sister one could ever wish to have.
Upon your sister’s grand entrance into this world, I pray that God will continue to bless you with a loving heart. I pray that you will understand that this time is different and could sometimes be more difficult. You will no longer always have our undivided attention but it doesn’t mean that we love you less. I promise I will always be the mom you have and I will still try to give you the best of me, and get us our alone time together whenever we can.
Our love for you will never ever change.
We may truly struggle to cope with the coming change — but we can do this together as a team.
I am going to miss the times of just us two, going shopping, getting massages, watching movies, going to playdates, doing chores, studying/ reading bedtime stories and many other things that we do together. I know you are going to miss those times too, more than I do. But that’s okay. Soon, there will be three of us doing all those things when dad is away. We will have a new member to share more stories with. You will have someone to play with any time when mommy isn’t able to. You will have new someone to cuddle with as mommy do chores. You will have a new friend to share life experience with as you grow. You will have a new playmate and a shopping buddy — not just your teddies.
These may sound overwhelming to you, to mommy and daddy, but —— I know we can do this together.
I pray that no matter what happens, no matter what’s ahead of us — you will always remember that I loved you first and I will forever love you. You will forever be that sweet firstborn that made me ‘mom’.
I love you. We love you so much and we will always be proud of you. ?
**This was a letter I wrote before my second baby was born. I’m just sharing it here again for some inspiration. 🙂
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Hey there,
I love the post 🙂 Touchy, but to the point. I think it has everything a mum should (or would) tell to her firstborn daughter before her second child is born. And, let’s hope the firstborn will understand. Jealousy is expected, and there are ways to deal with it.
I think this letter should be read (or told in any form) by every mother to her first-born child. I’ll probably save for when my second chlid will be born.
Thanks again!
Marios
What a great post, I really want to have a copy of this before I get my second child, I would also like to share the same to my first born child as we await the second born, it’s somehow emotional but it’s the best letter I have ever come across written by a parent to the child, I feel so blessed to read it, am even tempted to read once more,
Do you have other written articles live novels that may contain more lattes?
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Thank you for this post, be blessed you are a great parent I must say.
from Joy
That’s so sweet. What a reflection on having a second child. Your poetry drew me in with every line, helping me understand the challenges motherhood. It’s quite challenging especially with the firstborn feeling neglected or unimportant. I recommend you give her this piece when she’s older to read, she’ll love you even more.
Thanks for sharing your creativity.
Hello,I have read the whole review about this.This is really an interesting moments information in this post.Cheerfulness is the gift of sharing warmth and optimism.When somebody fell happy,let it show on their face.Happiness in defined as enjoying,showing or marked by pleasure,satisfaction or joy.people when they think of happiness,they think about having to good feeling inside.I have also two sisters.I know that this Moment is very special for all. Thanks for sharing this moment with us.
What a touching letter to your first born. I would add that part of the reason that she is about to have a new sister is because your first born was such a wonderful child that she allowed you to see how wonderful it felt to be a mother.
With tears in my eyes, I remember the “guilt” that I felt when my second child was born. In some ways, I felt sad and guilty that my first son would never again get all of my time. That was a very sad realization. As I said, it still make me tear up thinking about it roughly 25 years later.
My tears are even more silly, when I know that my second son is the very best gift that I ever gave my first child. There were a few times when they had some frustrations with each other because an age differences. Yet, I was and am still so blessed to know that my two children are not only brothers; they are best friends. They have taken slightly different paths career wise and one is married and the other isn’t. Yet, they are still have an amazing friendship. That is why it is funny, that I still tear up remembering how I felt when I realized that my first child was no longer going to be my only child.
I wish your family the best of everything in life.
Hi Mai, you showed to us very emotional and inspiring letter to your first born daughter. I think that your thoughts are the thoughts who would share with you any other mom who is expecting a second child. Things changes then, the first child is not the only center point of a mom and dad anymore and sometimes first born child is jealous because of this. But children used to it and usually the become friends soon or later. I hope that everything will be good, thanks for sharing with us!
I love your letter written to your older child. My spouse and I are looking at adoption of a second child and your letter touched my heart and gave me some insights into how our first will feel or might feel. She loves our undivided attention and this could be a problem as she realizes that she will no longer have that. She is really looking forward to a “baby brother” or “baby sister”. She wants us to go to the “Baby Brother and Sister Store” to pick our baby up today! Your letter is sure something that I will share with my eldest as we prepare for our addition!
Thanks for the highly inspirational letter! Much excited! I got overwhelmed as I was reading along, though remembered that I’m not a firstborn child of my mom anyway. I felt like being a firstborn again, though this is not possible to be. It’s worthy of attention that no matter what happens or comes our way in life, love matters the most and it sustains for a very long time.
And I want to remember all moms that are presently carrying babies in their wombs, that I wish all of them safe deliveries! Thanks for the inspirational post!
Israel Olatunji
This is beautiful and so very heartwarming. My second baby was born when my daughter wasn’t yet three and I know it was a big adjustment for her. I’m sure your daughter will read this when she is older and know how much you love her. How did you find making the jump from one to two children?
a very inspiring and touching story/letter. thank you for sharing us your precious and memorable story!